Gainful Employment is Found...

Well, I am formally employed again. My first day at the new job begins on Monday morning. Technically, I go in this evening for a few short hours of training with the former tenant of this job, but it'll mainly serve as an overview. I have to figure out the actual mechanics of my job, by myself, starting next week.

Here's how this all happened...



Truthfully, the story about how all of this happened, began here. In June of this year. When a certain unnamed fund-raising organization for a well-known college in Israel, picked me up for a temp-to-hire gig as their office manager. At the time, I was very, very excited about this prospect. There was a lot to be excited about. A New York Trip scheduled for September. Meeting International Celebrities. The office was small and I was well on my way to learning how to do the job that I was hired for.

And then things started to go wrong.

At a company-wide conference call in July, the CEO of the company announced that all hires were put on hold until October 1st. "Don't worry," said my boss, who looked a lot like a stern, disapproving version of Carrie Fisher, "This won't affect your position with us. We will just need to put off the hire until October. Is that okay with you?" And I agreed to it.

August and September began the downhill slide at the job. My boss complained about me, to me, on a nearly daily basis. Sometimes she would look at me with a naked "Are you fucking stupid?" look on her face. And that's how I felt. Stupid and Useless. She would "teach me" lessons on how they do things, nearly every day, often times contradicting things that she'd told me before. I would fix things and there would be no notice of them. I would institute new procedures and there would be no interest in them. Eventually, I got to the point where I would pray for the days that she was out of office, most of the day. I was miserable. At one point, I went to my temp agency and talked to them about the very real possibility of getting out.

The month of September was particularly rough with that job. Most of the Jewish High Holidays are in that month and there were three weeks in a row that were cut short by the holidays. And for a guy who's on an hourly pay schedule, that much time off was really hard on me. I was broke through most of September.

And to make matters worse, they released me on the last day of the third short week, with no notice. I think that they were afraid that I was going to steal something or fuck up their ancient computer system (the one that they'd been using since the late eighties.) My boss rifled through my desk, asking "What's this?" and "What's this for?" and trying to absorb as much information as she could in the thirty minutes that she'd allotted me. She shook my hand, called me a "mensch" and I walked out the door, on the middle of a sunny Wednesday afternoon. (AS the elevator doors closed, I thought, "You guys are in serious trouble. There's no way you can absorb all of the duties that it took me almost three months to learn. You scooped up a cupful of snow and assumed that you'd charted the iceberg. But there's miles of ice under the water that you know nothing about." Seriously, the next person to take over that job is mega-fucked.

And so, I floated around at the beginning of September. I had big chunks of the work week off, to do nothing with. I emailed my resume to job after job from Craigslist and the Chicago Public Radio and The League of Chicago Theaters and The Onion. I must've sent out nearly three dozen resumes, each day. In between those, I temped wherever my agency could place me, but the pickings were pretty slim. One of the gigs they tried to book me for, started at 4:30 AM and went to 8:30am. In desperation, I took the gig. Later, I called and cancelled when I realized that no bus or train line near my house ran at that extremely early hour. I would've blown half the paycheck on cabfare to the gig, alone.

Of all the jobs that I applied for, there were three jobs that I really wanted.

Executive Assistant to the CEO at The Onion.
Executive Assistant to the CEO of The Goodman Theater.
Administrative Assistant for Victory Gardens Theater.

I wanted jobs that put me in creative environments. Jobs that utilized my clerical training, but applied my skills to making a product that I believed in. I thought that my theatrical training would benefit me at the two theaters. Or at least give me an edge over other applicants. I sent off all three resumes within a day of each other. That was two weeks ago.

In the meantime, while I was waiting to hear anything back from ANY job, I accepted this temp assignment. To sit at this desk, for three weeks at The Job Where I Literally Don't Have To Do Anything At All. And that was my plan. To buy the rest of the month with this temp gig and find something between now and then.

My temp agencies did not have any permanent placement jobs open that I was a good fit for.

It looked like I was going to have to do this on my own.

And then I got an email from Victory Gardens asking if I was still available and interested in the job. (I am.) Then they asked to set up an interview, the very next day. I scheduled it in the morning, before my training for this temp position.

I went to my interview at VG on Tuesday. I met the Executive Director and she was a lovely, sweet lady who was very interested in me and my background. She was concerned that they couldn't meet my salary range. I assured her that if the job and I were a good fit, that I would be willing to come down a bit to meet them. (And not a huge step down. In fact, just shy of being a huge step down.) They promised to get back to me as soon as they could.

Then, that night I got an email from The Onion. It was asking if I was available and interested in the job. (YES! ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY!) I emailed that I was interested and on Wednesday morning, they arranged for a telephone pre-interview for Wednesday night around 6:30pm.

On Wednesday morning I got a call from Victory Gardens Theater. Could I come that day and meet the Artistic Director? The best I could do was to arrange a 5:30pm, post workday meeting. (I secretly was thinking, "It has to be over by 6:30pm, though. I have another interview then.")

After the Wednesday workday, I raced to the VG and met up with the Artistic Director. He was, in a word, wonderful. We hit it off instantly. We knew the same people. We knew the same shows. At one point, he said, "That's how we do things here. I'm an old Jazzman." and before I could stop myself, I said, "Really? I'm a jazzman, too! I LOVE jazz!" and he smiled at me appreciatively. We both like jazz. Which means that he's going to love to visit my office. Because I play jazz in my office.

At one point, he said to me, "Tell me what you're most excited about, regarding this job. And on a similar note, Tell me what challenges you about it, too." I weighed it for a second, trying to mentally articulate what I was thinking and when I finally answered, this is what I said, "Well, I can tell you what excites me about the job, easily. This is the Victory Gardens Theater. One of the best theaters in town. I knew about you guys before I worked here. You have a good reputation for doing smart, solid work and I want to be a part of that. (This is all true, btw. I do think this about them.) And while Administrative Services isn't the same as acting or direction, I like the fact that my work DOES affect the work that the theater does. Sure, stuffing envelopes isn't sexy work. But the envelope that I stuff catches someone's attention and they come see a show. They enjoy the show and they become a season subscriber. Their subscription fee gets poured back into the theater's fund and that makes the next show that much better. All from a standard mailer that I'll be sending out to thousands of people who would have similar experiences. In that way, the small pebble that I drop, makes big waves on the shore."

And he looked at me and said, "That is a very good answer."

And I finished my answer by saying, "I am most concerned, right now, about the natural clunkiness that's going to happen as we transition from your current employee to me. She knows how to do her job. Very well, I might add. And it's going to take me some time to be as good at her job as she is. And that transition, as I make mistakes and learn from them will be frustrating for you (who have come to expect a certain level of experience) and to me, who just wants to do my job well. I think, though, that we can work it out together. I think that enough time and attention and patience from us all, will get us through the rough time together. And every day, I'll learn something new and get better."

He looked at me and said, "That is also a very good answer."

At 6:20pm, he excused himself to go upstairs and meet with the Executive Director for a second. But he asked me to stick around for a bit. I told him that I needed to step outside and make a quick call.

I called the HR person for the Onion and apologized for not being able to talk then. I told her that work was running a little bit over and asked if I could call back in twenty minutes or so. She was totally cool with it. In fact, she offered to chat on Thursday if that made things easier. I promised to call her back in twenty minutes, Come Hell or High Water.

When I went back into the theater, both of the two producers were waiting for me, already smiling. The Executive Director took my hand and said, "You know how we look at our staff as our family. We would like to ask you to join our family. Would you like to work for us?" And I tell you this... I KNOW how it sounds. But there wasn't an ounce of cynicism in what she was saying. It was a big deal for them to make the offer to me and she really meant what she said about the job and how she said it.

So, of course, I accepted.

She ran through the details of the job. Vacation Time. Sick/ Personal Time. The Hours. The Salary. Most of it stuff that I already knew. Behind her, the Artistic Director said, "What are you doing, tonight, actually?"

"Nothing really. Heading home and dinner before bed."

"Because you really should go see our newest show. You'll want to be up-to-date on what we're running right now. And it'll be a good chance to see the Biograph. It's had a lovely restoration."

"Sure," I said, "I could do that."

"Great! I'll call over and have them set a comp aside for you," he shook my hand and then shuffled off, back upstairs to his office.

I got introduced to a few more people. Future co-workers. And took a second to look around the lobby of my new job. I remember thinking, "I am looking at these bricks, pipes and conduits for the first time, but there will come a day soon when I'll have seen these so many times that they won't even register to me. Right now, everything is new. Soon, everything will be old-hat." I thanked the staff, touched base with the person who is going to train me in the job and then walked outside to make a sad call to The Onion.

I got the HR person on the phone immediately and she was genuinely thrilled to hear from me. She said up front how impressed they were with my resume and wanted a little more info about my background. I stopped her politely and apologized for taking her time, but I wanted her to know that I'd just been offered a new job and that I'd accepted. But that I was a huge fan of their work and was honored that they even considered me for the job.

She paused for a minute and congratulated me on the new job and said, "If you don't have any objections, there's still a lot that I would like to know about you. Do you mind if we continue the interview?"

And here, Gentle Readers, is where the ship left the map. She knew that I had just accepted a new job and wanted me anyways. I thought, "Damn. She really must've liked that resume for this discussion to be continuing."

This whole time I'd been walking in a slight sleet of rain from the VG location to the Biograph and I paused in the garden at the corner of Clark and Fullerton to answer her questions. She wanted to know about my background. What I did as a hobby. What my interests were beyond my office training. She told me things about the job. That it's an entirely new position. That the pay would be about $8,000 more a year than I was currently going to make at the theater. She said that it was a creative work environment and that they were looking for smart, fun, interesting people to work with. She said that I would be a good match for them and their workplace.

She asked me if I would like for her to submit my paperwork to their CEO and try to arrange a lunch meeting for either Thursday or Friday. And I felt sick to my stomach.

Yes, yes, of course, I wanted her to.
But I'd just accepted another job.
Of course, the salary was considerably bigger at The Onion. And that would look GREAT on my resume and be a hit in the improv/comedy scene.
But I'd already promised my time to the two very kind, very trusting directors of the theater.
But THIS IS THE ONION, MAN!

So, I said, "Yes, please do. But just know that if I have to leave this other job, I HAVE TO do it by Friday at the latest. And I can't leave it for the possibility of a new job. I have to leave it with another offer on the table."

She said, "I absolutely understand. I'll do the best that I can do to set up that luncheon interview for you." I ended my call and entered the Biograph with about 5 minutes before showtime. Feeling like a dirty, dirty person.

I felt like I was playing a very high stakes game here. Juggling jobs. Making and trying to meet deadlines. One job agreed to. Another job moving to have me jump ship and come work for them. I tried to think, "Do what is best for you." But I also ended up thinking, "It sure would be a shame to louse up this delicate negotiation and end up with NEITHER job."

Before the show began, the Artistic Director made his curtain speech and I took a second to look around at the theater, thinking, "This is my new home now, too. I work here. I can come into this theater any time I need to, to get stuff done." It's good to know when doors are open to you for the first time. At the end of the speech, the director saw me and gave me a small wave. I am, after all, a member of his family now. In fact, he sat two seats behind me, during the entire first act.

Thursday morning I had to come to the Job Where I Literally Do Nothing All Day Long and tell them that Friday was going to be my last day here. I'd forewarned them that the assignment might be cut short by a new job offer. So nobody was surprised by this. I promised to help find a replacement. They appreciated that.

Lunchtime came and went without any call from The Onion.

I spent all Thursday morning working to find a good replacement. Eventually contact was made and I found someone. I was just finishing a call up with her, when the Onion HR person called me cell phone around 2:30pm. She was asking if I was available for lunch with the CEO at noon on Friday.

And I told her that I wasn't. I thanked her for her time and her dedication pursuing that for me, but that I couldn't, in good conscience, tell those good people at Victory Gardens that I was now turning down the job that they had just offered me and that I'd accepted. As it turns out, I really did feel like I was a member of the family. As it turns out, my conscience made the final decision there. I couldn't go against my instincts for $8,000. She thanked me for my honesty. She said that she was really impressed with my resume and with my personality and now with my integrity. She said, "Sometimes new jobs are not a good fit. If this one doesn't work out, call me. I bet I could find a place for you at The Onion." I thanked her and asked her to hang onto my resume. If it doesn't work out, she's the FIRST person that I'm contacting.

And that was it. That's how I chose one job over the prospect of another. Right after my last call with the Onion rep, I felt sick to my stomach then, too. I felt like I'd somehow missed some sort of opportunity. Better pay and work at a place that my peers would respect. In the end, I had to literally ball all of that regret up and throw it away. It did me no good. And besides, there's no guarantee that the CEO wouldn't be a major douchebag. Or that he wouldn't hate my guts and then I'd be out of BOTH jobs. Absolutely fucked by my own blind ambition.

And my new job is a good job with good people at a good place. It's hardly a consolation prize. With The Onion off the table, this IS the brass ring. A place to work with artists and performers and writers. I can take free classes there and see shows and meet playwrights and directors. I can audition for shows and see shows and dress up for gala events with my lovely lady. And who knows, the longer I'm there, the more likely I am to get a promotion and move up in the company. And find my career at this good place. All of those are good possibilities. I now work at a place with possibilities. And that's a very positive feeling.

Tonight I get an hour of training with the former VG Administrative Assistant. Afterwards, she's walking over to a nearby pub. Every now and then the Board of Directors and the VG staff have "pub night" where the subscribers can come and meet people and mingle and talk about the current show. That's tonight. As part of my job requirements, I am directed to go to a pub and mingle with my co-workers. That sounds absolutely grand.

Monday I begin my first day on the job. My first day as a theatrical company's admin assistant. My new job.

I'll be sure to stop by here and tell you all how it went. I mean, you've gotten this far. You deserve to hear the coda to the story, too.

Cheers,
Mr.B